Prioritizing Your Recovery During the Holidays

This time of year can bring challenges for those who struggle with their self image, disordered eating habits or an eating disorder. The season may already feel stressful and overwhelming and Thanksgiving may intensify those emotions as it has such a strong emphasis on the meal. Here are some helpful tips for getting through the holidays while staying focused on your recovery.

Tip 1: Reach Out

Reach out to your treatment team and support systems in advance if you have negative feelings about the upcoming holiday, especially if this is negatively impacting your current eating patterns. Chat through what is going on in your head before the event with your therapist and dietitian to figure out what you want to work on to feel better prepared. 

Tip 2: Go in with a Game Plan

If you're feeling nervous about waiting in line to fill up your Thanksgiving plate, visualize yourself in the line and what you will grab. You already know the standard Thanksgiving food that will likely be present, visualize yourself grabbing a scoop of potatoes, a roll or two, and whatever else sounds delicious to you. See yourself going through the line of food, serving yourself, and making decisions that align with you, not your ED. The key here is to view yourself doing this successfully! 

Tip 3: Pick a Person

Pick a person that can be your go-to individual on this day. This is someone that will be able to be there for you in a time of need and that you are comfortable being vulnerable with. If this person will be attending the event with you, come up with a signal that indicates you need some help or support. This could look like tugging on their elbows or discreetly sending them a text. If you know a specific scenario that you need their help with, then let them know before the event. State your needs! If you want someone to plate their food alongside you, then tell them! 

Tip 4: Schedule in Some “Me Time”

Make sure that you have a moment in the day where you can decompress and relax for a minute. Give yourself some time to release the stress you feel correlated to the holidays. Take some deep breaths, listen to a podcast, read a book, or journal. Allow yourself to have a break. You do not always have to be “on” so give yourself a minute or two to do nothing and give your brain a break. If you are at someone else's house and need a moment alone, go out to your car and sit for a minute! You can even rope in your support person if you are worried about stepping outside on your own. 

Tip 5: Face the Fear

Select the food that you want to eat, not the food that your ED thinks you should be eating. If you're feeling overwhelmed and having a difficult time trying to differentiate between what you want and what the nagging voice in your mind is telling you then resort back to your inner child. What would you have picked when you were little? What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Would you have grabbed a roll? Would you enjoy appetizers? Would you take a slice of Grandma's famous pumpkin pie? Think about what you would've wanted before ED barged its way into your life!

Tip 6: Plan for Obstacles

Think about the potential road bumps you might run into and think about different avenues you can take! Think about what may occur in the day and how you can overcome this. What happens if they do not have the food that you originally thought would be there? What if the food is cooked differently than you imagined? What if dinner is served early or maybe 2 hours late? 

Tip 7: Prepare Yourself for Food Comments

Food is at the forefront of the holidays. While sitting at the table, others may comment on what is on your plate. This is most often not a direct attack on you and is often used as a conversation starter and way to connect. If someone comments on your dessert selection, they may be looking to bond with you! These comments are not a direct reflection of who you are or if you are doing something right or wrong. However, if people comment on the quantity of specific foods on your plate then draw the line, you can take charge and change the topic of conversation or decide to end the conversation there.

Tip 8: Maintain Clear Boundaries

Outline and stick to the boundaries that you hold in regards to your body, your weight, and what you are eating. It is okay to not want the appearance of your body to be the topic of discussion.  Ask your family and friends to not comment on your eating or appearance. If they decide to not respect the boundaries you are holding, then you can restate your boundary, “I prefer people not to comment on my body,”  change the topic, or exit the conversation. You get to decide.

Tip 9: Celebrate!

Be proud of yourself for getting through the day! You did it! Celebrate all of the wins, regardless of how small or big you believe them to be. They all deserve to be acknowledged! Don't just keep these wins to yourself, share these wins with your support team! Tell them you did something that made you uncomfortable, that you ate a fearful food, that you allowed yourself to break a food rule, and that you were able to do hard things. No win is too small! 

Important Reminder: 

If you find yourself comparing what's on your plate to everyone around you, remember that this is only a snapshot of their day. We do not know what they ate before coming to Thanksgiving dinner or what they will have after. There are many factors for how much food is on their plate. They could have just come from another family’s thanksgiving meal, they could be coming down with a cold, maybe the food being served isn’t any of their favorites, or maybe they went too long without eating and are filling up their plates higher because they are starving. We simply don't know and that's okay! We do not need permission to eat!